Losing More Than a Paycheck
This part of my journey is something most people never hear about. When Social Security officially determined that I am disabled, it felt like both a lifeline and a punch to the gut. Stage four cancer, loss of speech clarity, and the partial loss of my left arm and shoulder finally reached a point where I simply could not work as an IT Project Manager anymore. I used to lead meetings with twenty people, sometimes fifty, guiding large data center migrations and major IT projects. Talking, directing, and communicating clearly were central to my job. Losing that ability takes more than a paycheck, it takes a piece of who you were.
The Hidden Gap No One Warns You About
But when Social Security certifies you as disabled, there is something they don’t put on the brochure. They call it the five-month waiting period, but everyone who goes through it calls it something else.
The donut hole.
It means no income.
No unemployment.
No temporary work.
No W-2.
Just five long months of waiting before you see your first small disability check.
So here I am, fighting cancer, fighting pain, and fighting a system that tells you, “Yes, you are disabled, but now wait five months with nothing.”
The Weight My Wife Carries
During this time, I have been doing everything I can to keep my treatments going without putting more weight on my wife. She has been the absolute rock of this family. She pays the mortgage, the cars, the utilities, the groceries, everything. She has not complained once. She has simply taken on every burden and kept moving forward so I can focus on staying alive. I honestly do not know how she does it.
Scaling Back Treatment to Stay Afloat
I’ve been getting two high dose infusions a week, and they have been working. My last CT scan showed the tumors shrinking, something I still consider a miracle. But because of this financial gap, I’m taking a chance and scaling back to one infusion a week for now. It scares me, I won’t lie. I never want the cancer to gain ground again. I’m praying, hoping, and believing that when I go in for my next scan in about a week and a half, the good news continues. That this treatment keeps doing what the doctors said it probably wouldn’t.
The Lifeline You Have Given Me
My GoFundMe has become the only way for me to continue these infusions without piling everything on my wife. Every donation, every prayer, every share of the link has helped me bridge this impossible waiting period. My family has also stepped in when they can, sending what they are able every few weeks. It helps me buy food, gas, and cover minimum payments while I wait for disability to actually start paying something.
Scared and Confident at the Same Time
I am scared, but I’m confident.
Scared because this disease is real and aggressive.
Confident because miracles have already started.
Confident because the tumors shrank.
Confident because of the support around me.
And confident because I refuse to give up.
Where the Turnaround Begins
Thank you for standing with me. Thank you for helping me fight.
I truly believe I will look back on this time and say,
“This is where the turnaround began.”